One aspect of parenting you learn at least by your second child is that the baby is going to cry! And at times that cry will be vociferous. At first that cry is going to cause every cell in your body to tense up and darn near lock up. Your blood pressure will increase and you will work to accomplish the task you think will stop your baby’s enthusiasm with an expediency that may cause you to skip a step or at least hurry through one. Most of the time, the imprecise completion of said task will not cause a problem, but occasionally the poorly fastened diaper will give way. And it is at this moment where you reflect on the steps leading to you giving your baby a midday bath and an outfit change when stoicism pops into your brain even if you do not know to give it that label.
That baby is going to cry! And as a parent you know what that baby needs. Your instincts kick in. Your training as a human on this planet kicks in. You trust your instincts and your training and learn to focus on your task in spite of the stage 5 screamer. You calmly and completely change that baby or ready that bottle or finish bathtime without feeling one way or the other about any external chaos.
I can attest that the work that goes into finding this calm is difficult. In the case of my literal example a switch is often flipped because the shock to the system if you get swept up in the current of chaos is painful. Though if you apply the metaphorical baby to some other aspect of your life, the work towards stoicism and solemnity is gradual. I am submitting to you today though, I think this work is crucial. I am also submitting to you today that I am writing about it because I am super imperfect at this.
That client, Mr. H, who I wrote about a few newsletters ago, I lost my cool when he canceled the first contract. I started talking over him at a point during that conversation. In my defense he called me three times in succession and I was in the middle of a meeting, but still, control over my emotions would have led to a more productive conversation.
What other babies are crying at this time of year?
The comparison to last year’s production baby?
The ‘am I giving enough of myself to my friends and family at this time of year’ baby?
The ‘am I allowed to enjoy the fruits (and cakes and pies and cookies) of the season’ baby?
The ‘have I prepared and planned enough for next year’ baby?
The ‘is this world going to implode’ baby?
Some of these babies you cannot control and you need to put your faith in another famous baby if you’re Christian or in the lessons of your religion if you believe in a different faith or in the “universe” if you don’t believe in a particular faith. But for other crying babies you can believe in yourself to know the right course of action in a moment of chaos. You can believe that you have the correct real estate training to handle difficult transactions or difficult conversations with clients. You can believe that you have the presence of mind to find a way forward with your co-workers on a plan for mutual prosperity. You can trust your experience to know that however challenging a year has been from a transaction volume perspective, that next year can be better if you trust in yourself to remain calm, stoic, and committed to your craft.
